Oh my Blogger!

I am blogging two days in a row. I think I need to calm it down a little. I just cant. I wanted to tell ya'll a little bit about my break. Since school got out (well kind of I secretly am not done with my semester yet) I have done a whole lot... of nothing. But here are the big things I can report.

I cleaned my room. But Cassandra that sounds so boring. Well, it was but it took a good 10 hours of my break so I have to brag about it with before and after pictures of course.













I bound a book, then told every form of social media I belong to about it. Because I am proud of that craziness. The thing about my book is that is is the perfect size and weight. I just love to carry it around. I am a nerd. So be it. I even made it with water color paper so I can paint in it. Silly art majors




I Skyped with this kid a lot, because lets face it, I suck at not being with him.

I went to a poetry slam. Seriously how pretty are these lights?
Lets do this in our dorm room. Screw lights only at Christmas rules. Why do those rules even exist!?

I also did some laundry.


















So there you go folks! Add a lot of Netflix, a trip to the dentist, the Sims 3, and a bunch of zzzzzzzzzzz's and you have my winter break.

Its been nice doing nothing but I'm ready to get back to school. I miss people, my roomies especially.

I also overhauled my blog. Just take a moment to admire it, because I had to fight with HTML, Indesign and Photoshop all day yesterday.

BYE!

Feeling Stronger

If you are one of those people how have endlessly been telling me that they haven't seen me in a while: I'm sorry if I reacted rudely. Truth was I hadn't seen myself in a while either, hence my blog not seeing me in a while.

I guess that is weird phrasing"I haven't seen myself in a while either". It was true on 2 levels:
 1) I hadn't looked in the mirror in a while so on that level it was true. This was due to busyness. I'm sure I walked around looking like a dead zombie for a while.
 2) I hadn't felt myself in a while. Something in early November knocked me down in the dumps, I'm still not sure what it was. It had a strange effect on me. I became so unbearably sad, and life got out of my hands. Homework got harder, getting out of bed got harder, hell everything got harder. During this time I kept to myself and a couple other people. It was like my mind went absent took a really long inconvenient vacation. But it's coming back, I'm feeling better. 

So if I responded rudely to you It was probably out of frustration. I still don't know why this came and went, I still don't know if it will return. I'm hoping and praying like crazy that it doesn't come back.



During this time I developed a mantra that I repeated to myself when I needed to fight my slump. It went like this:

Do not run, Pray pray pray, Be here now

This mantra addressed in order all the things I would need to make myself do when I came across something it felt like I couldn't handle. Because the first thing I would do was run, this came via skipping classes, walking away (physically) from my homework or someone that was stressing me out. Then I needed to focus myself on letting God help me, because I was staying (which was hella' hard), and God has got so much more strength than me. And finally I would need to convince myself not to check out mentally, (i.e. pay attention in class, do the homework I was making myself sit in front of) and only because of the previous step was this possible.


I'm sorry for not being around, but life just got really hard for a while and taking care of myself was something I needed to concentrate on. I anticipate next semester to be much different.

I love you, I hope you'll take me back.